Ugh...

I decided to try and shave today. Usually I don't have to try to shave, but today was different. I had my shaving cream and razor in the shower with me (Japanese showers are huge compared to American and they tend to sit down while they shower on little stools. I don't often sit, but I enjoy the vast open spaces of Japanese showers... they also often include a large mirror so you can get a full body glimpse of yourself wet and nude...fantastic) and when I pressed the dispense-button to get shaving cream out of the can it slipped and the plastic top popped off. No problem, it's easy to fix these things right? Wrong. This is where my adventures lie...

I first tried pressing the top down hard, no dice. Not only did the top not get back on but I dropped the can again and I could hear my host mom yell "Are you ok???" and then she giggled a little. Probably at the thought of my nude banging around in the shower. I decided I needed to be seated to get this sucker on. I sat down in the shower and started pushing really hard. No dice.

I propped the can in the corner and put the top on and POP it went on. It looked like it might have gone on a little bit too much or something, something just wasn't looking right. But I figured "it looks safe." a little bit of shaving cream squirted out when I got the top on. Just to get the image straight, this shaving cream is the kind that starts off as a gel then foams up later. So I push the button again and it's kinda jammed. I push really hard. Nothing. I was standing at this point so I braced it between my knees and pushed really hard and then "POP!"
the top completely broke and the entire can of shaving cream began unloading all over me and the shower. It was a big awkward green blob that just kept getting bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger. I started to panic and tried to get it towards the drain of the shower but at this point the floor was starting to get covered in this green gel that was slowly starting to foam. I was amazed at how slippery this stuff is when I stepped on it. Sadly I came to this realization at the least convenient moment because I slipped and went completely airborne for about thirty seconds to one minute. I'm pretty sure I did a flip, like a full 360 degree flip. My memory is a little hazy since it went so fast, but I can imagine myself doing some kind of awesome olympic figure-skating barrel roll back flip dive spin looking thing and it looking really really cool until...errrrrr I make the whole house shake with the thud of my wet birthday-suited body. I bet they thought it was another earthquake. I bet if I turn the news on they'll be like "This afternoon, in one house in Kunebetsu, there was a 6.7 earthquake. Scientists are baffled by the fact that the earthquake only shook such a small area of land and are currently doing research on the earths plates to solve this mystery. No one was injured, although a white-wet-slightly-furry-slighty-bruised creature with very large eyebrows that spoke broken Japanese was found in the shower room semiconscious. It may have sustained injury but no one is really sure as the creature does not speak proficient Japanese. More news on the hour..."

Anyway. I'm ok. Luckily I didn't break anything (as in, the shower.)

-Michael