Thursday, August 27, 2009

*L*U*N*C*H*

The cafeteria at school just opened. The way it works is, at least 24 hours in advance I have to let them know that I plan on eating lunch in the cafeteria. They deduct the cost of lunch from my paycheck. At lunch there are 3 options to pick from Lunch A, Lunch B, and Noodle Lunch. Lunch A is usually meat, Lunch B is usually fish and Noodle Lunch, as you probably guessed, is a noodles. One day I signed up for Lunch A. I had some small fatty greasy fried chicken cubes, a handful of boiled vegetables, a small piece of fruit, a bowl of rice, and a cup of miso soup. It wasn't the most satisfying meal I've had here, but it got the job done. I brought lunch from home afew days and then decided to try the school lunch again. This time I signed up for B lunch. It was Chinese-style sauce with squid on a bed of rice. My other option was entirely un-readable so I went with this...

I got to the cafeteria walked to the front and asked 'Where is the B lunch?' The lunch lady stared for a second and looked a confused. 'B-Lunch?' 'I signed up for B-Lunch' All that sat in front of me were plates with fried chicken chunks on it. 'Uh. UH! UMMM.. B-Lunch.. .Hmmmm' I was starting to feel a bit embarrassed since students and other teachers were standing there being like 'B-Lunch???' She asked some other lady who proceeded to run to the back room of the cafeteria. I was asked to step to the side and wait a second. People walked by and smiled as they took their big plate with chicken, salad, and a slice of pineapple by me and walked to the miso soup and bowl of rice line. I heard some banging around in the kitchen, various crashes, bashes and booms. I think I heard a whistle go off and an engine start. Finally a lady emerged from a side door with a bowl in her hand. 'Hai! B-Lunch!' She handed it off with a smile. AT least I thought she was smiling, her face was hidden by a mask, the lunch ladies have to wear them because they are afraid of getting swine flu or spreading it or something. Either that or they have to wear it in the situation that some B-Lunch disaster occurs.

I peered into my bowl. I could tell there was some rice at the bottom. On top of that, it was all rather questionable. There was a brownish gooey substance filled with all kinds of treasures. I recognized some onion in there, some stringy things, a think there was a broken lego, a cigarette maybe. I sat down at the lunch table with my fellow teachers. I could tell, I was 'That guy' I was the 'B-Lunch guy' they were all trying to be nice to me but I could tell... they were 'just being nice' because I got the B-Lunch. I looked around at the hundreds of students in the cafeteria. Every one had a tray of A-Lunch. Each laughing, smiling, shoving their pineapple chunks into their mouths. They wanted me to see how great a choice they made for lunch today. Not one single person had a B-Lunch. I needed to not look like an idiot. I needed to eat. So I shoveled the first spoonful into my mouth. Give me a moment to gather my thoughts on the taste... hmmm... ok... imagine you had a horrible horrible cold. Something where your nose was running constantly and you were sniffing and blowing your nose. Just a real mess. Imagine you collected all that snot from your cold, chunks and all and put that on rice. Now make it taste fishy. Add squid. Voila. B-LUNCH!

I managed to build a type of mine in my bowl where I could get the bottom rice out relatively un-tainted by the dark-sided sauce that lay on top of it. I finished as fast as I could and went back to the office. Now... I sit... in shame. I am the B-Lunch-eater.

In other news: My mom sent me chips and salsa. I will certainly be eating that when I return to my apartment today. I imagine that will kill anything that survives from the B-Lunch.

That's all folks.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

New Flavors This Week...

So this week has brought some variety into my life here...

First, I got to visit BOTH of the other schools I will be working at. There is my base school that is a prestigious High School then I have two "travel schools." The first one I visited reminded me a bit of my high school at home. It was big, the classes were big (about 40 per class), but it was really laid back. The students aren't particularly good at English, but are playful, talkative and don't really like school... like any high schooler.

The other school is smaller, the students know basically no English. In fact, their English classes are conducted in Japanese. So... It's gonna be tough. But at the same time, the students are really fun and rowdy. Apparently they swear in English a lot (which I will just ignore) but I kind of like the change of pace from my base school which is full of the golden-students of Japan who do TONS of homework and study really hard and get into the "best schools in Japan" for college.

The OTHER variety is comes from the ice cream store down the street from my house. It's this teeny tiny place that makes their own ice creams from scratch and the flavors change all the time. This time I went in the flavors were Chocolate Chocolate Chip, Pumpkin, White Mocha, Corn, Fresh Milk, Rum Raisin, Tiramisu, Blueberry Yogurt, Plum Sherbert, Stawberry/Mochi/Bean Paste, Black Soy, and a few others that I forgot. Either way... I got Tiramisu and it was so therapeutic. I never believed in ice cream so much. Not only was it the best ice cream I have ever had, it was the best Tiramisu I've ever had. There was actual tiramisu mixed into the ice cream so every now and then you'd get a nice big hunk of cake soaked in mocha and chocolate. Oh man.

Hilary got Chocolate Chocolate Chip and White Mocha. Both were super smooth and super tasty.

On the way out I bought little cups of corn and pumpkin. They tasted like... corn and pumpkin. Not pumpkin pie style pumpkin. Like... raw pumpkin. It was good. The Tiramisu was better though.

I am starting to enjoy my stay here more.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Bring on the Imports

Today I am going to go to the Foreign Import store in Nagaoka to see what American things I can get my hands on. Crystal Pepsi? Mico-magic french fries? Hot Pockets? Chef Boyardee? Spam? Velveeta? Krafts Singles? Eggo Waffles? I like to imagine that it's just a whole store of food that gives you all sorts of digestive issues... after you make a purchase they throw in some pepto bismol.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

King Mukade

I have two fears regarding my stay in Japan. 1) Huntsman Spiders (HUGE spiders) and 2) Mukade (Poisonous centipedes)

1) Huntsman. I will spare you a photograph of one of these guys since my friend Marty sometimes reads this and is frightened by spiders to the extent that he would never come back to this blog if the spiders picture were on here. Feel free to google one though.

The bad news: They are all over rural Japan. They grow to be about the side of your hand and sometimes your face..(that's including their legs..not JUST their body. I wouldn't come to this country if their body got that big)

The good news: They eat mukade (I'll get to them in a minute) and my predecessor never saw one. They don't live indoors but sometimes make it into apartments to look for food but won't bug people. They don't even make webs really, they make these little holes in the ground. So basically they are my protectors. I saw one outside one day but it was just hanging out on a chair by a garden. Scary... but harmless.


2)MUKADE. These things scare the CRAP out of me. They are poisonous and bite and are fast and everything bad about bugs rolled up into one.

The bad news: They big you and it hurts like hell. They get in walls and in floors and will creep into your bed at night to bite you. You don't die from them, but sometimes you have to go to the hospital if you don't take care of them (usually when you get bit from a really big one). They also look disgusting. They look like devils.

The good news: They are relatively rare in Niigata. They mostly hang out in southern Japan where it's warmer. My predecessor never saw one around these parts, however he got bit by one in Kyoto while he was sleeping. He threw it off of his chest and, naturally, he had issues getting back to sleep after it bit him because he heard it run away but never saw where it went... yikes.

The REALLY bad news:
Last night Hilary and I were watching some TV and she said "AH! What IS that?" and a little baby mukade came scurrying across the floor. I stood up to turn a light on and maybe grab a shoe to take that bugger out. (A baby is was about as long as your pointer finger and was pretty thin.) Anyway, Hil went to smash it and right when her hand went down it whipped its head up and bit her on the finger. Luckily it was a little one and although it hurt, there was no swelling or poison or anything. but... this is not a good sign as far as my fear goes. We tore up the house looking for where it went but have to find that thing. I think it sneaks in through the floor in my bedroom... great.

For your viewing pleasure... a mukade (full size, not a baby.)

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Work Work Work Work WORK

I realized after an hour and a half of work that I had successfully written the kanji for 'Urine' correctly all over a piece of paper on my desk and I had gotten paid to do so. I got paid the same as the teachers who are furiously grading, correcting, preparing, and writing all around me. No wonder there is an awkward tension in this workplace.

*I am studying for a proficiency test in Japanese (JLPT) and the kanji for urine is one of the kanji on the test.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Culture SHOCKERS

I have been to Japan number of times (This is the fourth time) and the first 3 times I was in less rural areas. I also did homestays so whenever there was a problem, I had someone who could help me. THIS time around, not only do I not have someone to help me out really, but I am basically completely isolated. Some JETs get placed with a bunch of other JETs near them, some don't. I don't. I quickly realized that my other study abroad trips here were a lot more observant of Japanese culture than they were participating in it. I got to do the fun and traditional things like onsens, festivals, and that kind of stuff. This time around it's a very different experience. Not that it is bad, but it is very different.

Coming here for language programs meant that basically everyday I would have contact with other foreign friends my age. Since the JET Programme starts in August, you come to town right when everyone is leaving town. The school starts summer break right when you arrive. The result is a lot of waiting, sitting, and making yourself look productive for a month. I'm sure this is some reason for the JET Programme to start in August but I don't really see it. I think it slowly drives people crazy before they see what the job is actually like. I will have been in Japan for over a month before I get to teach someone. I get paid for it, that is nice, but I won't have done anything relating to my job here yet.

This has given me a quick flash of culture shock. I'm not sure if it is completely culture shock though because it isn't really the Japanese culture that is stressing me. It's the isolation and the lack of mental stimulation that is doing it. The result is culture shock, I get frustrated with little things that shouldn't really bug me. Here are a list of a few things that have started to really wind me up.

Here is my disclaimer:
Don't get me wrong, Japan isn't necessarily doing anything wrong, it's more that there is this awkward stress one me and so small things start to wind me up when they shouldn't really. These are more like observations than criticizing Japan (for instance the man slupring his noodles really loud next to me, its a bit irritating)... although there are some things that I would probably change if I ruled this country, mostly for safety reasons... Let's let the culture shocking begin.

1) Bikes. This is the most frustrating thing for me, so far. Luckily I am not in Tokyo (anymore), where this is the worst. Biking on the sidwalks is totally cool in Japan. This results in crazy bike dodging. The sidewalks don't really have rules of their own as to which side you walk on. I assumed that it was 'stay on the left side' which would be the opposite of America. They drive on the left side of the road, so I figured you would walk on the left side too. On escalaters in Japan you stand on the left and walk on the right side. On the sidewalk, I walk on the left but that doesn't really seem to be the rule. People kind of are all over the place. In Tokyo, this is the worst. Imagine this scenario: One night, you are walking down a really busy street. There are loads of people coming toward you so you kind of have to weave in and out. You aren't moving at a snails pace, but you are by no means moving quickly. Now imagine doing this on a bike. It seems impossible, right? It is, for Americans. Japanese people weave through crowds on their bikes like it is no big deal. They go fast too. So for the walking foreigner, it really becomes some type of frogger-esque game. You will be walking and turn into a store and immediately hear squealing of bike breaks. From 2 feet away, a bike cruising will be sliding your way with a 70 year old lady or a 12 year old middle school student at the handle bars. Their face shows no sign of panic. (I don't know if that is a good thing or a bad thing... are they used to killing people with their bikes?) This wouldn't be a huge problem if you could see them from a distance, you'd both be able to prepare and move. But in a crowded city with no real rules as to which side you walk on...especially at night... this gets to be a dangerous game of "don't get killed" and that isn't my favorite game. Uno is.

2) Garbage.

I really can't bash Japan for this one. They should probably be doing this all over the world. But either way, it is really hard to deal with. The first problem with trash is that it is difficult to find a trash can anywhere. Why, you ask? For a few reasons. The first is that not too long ago there were gas attacks in Tokyo by a crazy religious group where they stuck gas bombs in garbage cans. After that, most public garbage cans were taken away. The next reason is because there isn't just a 'garbage' can. There are garbage canS (note the 'S'). Garbage is divided into many different groups. Depending on your area its divided into more or less groups. For me, I have to divide my garbage at home into 3 categories. Burnable, Nonburnable, and recyclables. Burnable is raw garbage, paper, all that good stuff. Nonburnable is plastic, metals, stuff like that. I am supposed to keep styrofoam and stuff in a separate bag. Recyclables are cans and plastic bottles. I have different drop off points for each of these once a week and some three times a week. Every other thursday is nonburnable and recyclables. This drop off point is about a block away. I walk down and put it there, but I can only put it there on the day they are due, none of this early drop off business. The burnable is MWF and its at the end of the street my apartment is on. I think every tuesday is nonburnable misc. stuff like plastic wrappers, plastic cups...and so on. The system is really tedious but it makes sense. Each kind of garbage goes to a place that specializes in disposing of that kind of garbage. Some areas of Japan are can to have up to 25 separate garbage types so mine isn't sooo bad. If you dispose of these the wrong way, you can get fined. I don't know how they know who you are or how to fine you, but they do. They probably can look at the trash and tell you are foreign. My predecessor got yelled at by some old lady once. Let's hope this doesn't happen to me. I missed trash day today already. At the end of the day though, it is kind of a pain in the butt to have a bowl of instant ramen and have to put the paper top in one garbage can, the plastic bowl in another and the little baggies of seasoning in another garbage can. Do this for every meal for a week and you will go nuts. Also walking down the street if you have a piece of trash... you will never find a garbage can unless you have a convenient store near you.

3) Following the rules.

I get the impression that a lot of Japan likes rules. OR at least they like to follow rules. You will never see J-walking in Japan. At least not nearly as much as you see in Chicago. There is rarely street crossing when it says 'don't walk' even if there are absolutely no cars. Everywhere in the world obviously needs to have SOME type of rules. A lack of rules makes it really really difficult to get stuff done. On the other hand, having too many rules makes it really really difficult to get stuff done too. I kind of like the American mindset that we have where, even if there is a rule, there is an option not to follow the rule. Sometimes it gets you in trouble, sometimes it makes someone elses job harder, but we like to find out ways around rules without completely breaking them.

Here in Japan, what we need are the rule benders. These are those nice people who go are so good at their job they know what is actually an important rule and what isn't. The people that go "Well you are supposed to do this, buuuut we can change that around to make it a little easier, just don't tell on me." My university in America severly lacked these types of people, especially the Administration. The school that I work for in Japan is full of really friendly people. They are all quite smart and all are hard workers. The school payed a lot of money for me to come work here which I am very grateful for. However, since they paid for me they feel it is necessary for me to show up to work even though I have, literally nothing to do here. I can see their reasoning. When looking at it on paper it makes sense, they paid for me, I must show up. The hard part is that I have to setup my whole life here. I have to register as an Alien (nanu nanu), open a bank account (alien registration is necessary for this), get a cellphone (alien registration is necessary for this too), get a car (alien registration is ALSO necessary for this), get some furniture (car is necessary for this, alien registration is necessary for the car...) so it gets complicated when everything closes at 5pm or earlier and I don't get out of work until 5:10pm. On top of that, it is really difficult to do all this stuff on my own. I know Japanese, but I don't know how to negotiate a phone service plan in Japanese. *I really wish the guy next to me would stop sluping his noodles so loud, that will be number 4 on the culture shock list* I have a half day on friday so that is the day I can get stuff done. BUT I don't have a car so I can pretty much get one thing done on fridays since all of these things aren't close enough together that I could walk from one place to another. When I get a car, that will make things easier. SO back to the rule bending.
Since I have to be at school all day, even though I don't do anything, if I want to leave I have to take a paid vacation. The rules can't really be bent. If I am not in the school, then it MUST be a vacation. Maybe this isn't as much of a Japanese thing as it is a 'real-life-Job thing' but, running small important errands to set my life up here... I dunno, I think that is worthy of a rule bending. I'm not asking for time to get groceries, more important things like... getting health insurance...stuff to make my life livable here. (Just to clarify that I don't really do anything here, I read 200 pages of a book yesterday and have studied 2,500 kanji flash cards online. (Not 2,500 kanji, just 2,500 flash cards, there is a lot of repetition.) SO, what I need is for someone to go "Well you are SUPPOSED to be here at work since we are paying you BUT you don't have anything to do here and you need to get things done to make your life easier, so let me help you out by letting you go do these things" I am sure there are people like this in Japan. I have just been warned so many times that a lot of Japanese workplaces are stricter and more rigid than what I am probably used to. It seems very heirarchy. *STOP SLURPING YOUR NOODLES*

4) Slurping Noodles


I am sorry, but this is just annoying. I bet if i made some loud noises in this work place everyone would be all 'ugh. rude american.' BUT if I were making loud noises because I was eating noodles, there would be no problem.

Now I'm not strict with table manners as my mother could attest to. The only pet peeve I have is loud eaters when I am not eating. If I am eating with you, go right ahead and make noise. But if no one in the room is eating... just keep it down. Eating noodles without slurping them is pretty easy. I do it basically every time I eat noodles. Maybe a little suck here and there to get a bit more pull on a heavy batch. But when there are two or three noodles left you don't need a big *SLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRP* to get them in. Now, again, I am trying to tell myself, this is what everyone does here and I will have to get used to it. Japan doesn't need to change, this is just how my brain processes these things. During culture shock, these things get extra annoying. It's like being pregnant, except, instead of getting hungry all the time, you get frustrated by cultural differences... maybe it's not like being pregnant. Bad analogy. Anyway. The guy finished his noodles. The teacher is a really nice guy. I don't dislike him one bit. I just have a hard time telling myself "loud slurping is a good thing to do." But you bet your ass that when I go to a Ramen restaurant next I am gonna slurp louder than everyone in there. Sometimes you have to fight fire with fire. I guess it's not fighting fire with fire, it's more "If you can't be 'em join 'em." I guess that is how all things should go with culture shock. All culture shock remedies are just... 'Join 'em' because they aren't going to change their ways for you because they shouldn't have to. Aaaaanyway.


In other news: I am getting a car in a week, yaaaaay. I also got an Air Conditioner installed in my apartment. I lucked out because a local lady who is helping me out from time to time said she had one left around that still worked but that it is expensive to install... lucky for us though, her hubby is an electrictian so he installed it for me. Usually they cost around 80,000 yen (about 800 dollars) so I got one for 11,000 yen (About 100 bucks) Hooray!

Monday, August 10, 2009

When It Rains...

When it rains it pours, especially in Japan. I use this term literally, its rained almost everyday since my arrival. I guess the rainy season is supposed to be over but just kept on going, but I also use this term metaphorically. FOR INSTANCE: I got a pretty rough placement for JET. The physical area is totally fine with me. I dont mind that there isnt really anything to do here, its beautiful all around and I am near a bullet train station which makes life a lot easier. The rough part is that there are absolutely no other JET folks near me at all. Some JETs get placed in apartment buildings with 5 other JETs in them, some are just placed in the same town. The closest ones to me take about an hour or so to get to. On top of this, my supervisor (a JET Supervisor is one of the English teachers at your school who helps you do everything, ie. get your alien registration, open a bank account, get you a phone, help you move into your apartment, show you how to get around town, help you get a car if you need one.) is nonexistant. I met him once, he was really really nice, but he just isnt particularly helpful. I lived in that hotel for a week by myself and they expected me to be able to get from one hotel to another on my own as well as into my apartment on my own. I have 150 pounds of luggage and no car. Luckily, my predecessor helped me out a bunch, though I'm not his responsibility. I was starting to get frustrated! In order for me to get any of these things done, I had to do them on my own and on my own TIME. If I wanted to go during the week I had to use my vacation hours (everything is closed by the time I finish work at 5pm), even though they were supposed to take me to do these things a while ago. On top of that, do you have any freakin idea how hard it is to open a bank account and get a cellphone only using Japanese? It ain't easy. So we're off to a good start, yeah? Yeah.

I was informed I had to go work at a three-day-two-night English Camp in Myoko. During these three days my predecessor would move out of the apartment and I could move in when I returned. Great. I moved my luggage into the place BEFORE I left (smart move, yes, thank you, it was my idea.) I kept a duffle bag and a backpack with my computer and phone and stuff in it, though it was still pretty heavy. The plan was simple: Check out of the hotel and catch a 6:23am train to Myoko. I'd get there at 9:30am, itd be great. Easy plan. I woke up, off to a good start. I decided i wanted to wash my hair this morning, I hadn't used my own shampoo yet, just ones provided for me at hotels. I opened my bag that has extra toothpaste, shampoo andconditioner bottles, and a comb. It was covered in a green minty fresh substance. Wonderful, toothpaste all over everything. I pulled things out one by one and looked for the broken toothpaste. I then, for whatever reason, scraped some off with my fingernail and tasted it. Don't ask me why. It was at this point, when my finger was juuuuust touching my tongue, before I could taste anything, that I remembered my toothpaste is white, not green. My shampoo is green and also kind of minty scented. Too late. I ate some shampoo. Great, off to a good start. I showered and packed my stuff up and ran to the station. I got there and walked onto the wrong platform... the train was juuuuuuuuuuuust leaving. So I walked into the ticket office and talked to the guy. He gave me a new ticket, the same price, for a train that would arrive at 10:52, not too much later. I called the camp to let them know I'd be late since they chartered a bus for everyone to take at 10 from the station. They said it was cool, they would send a car to get me at 10:52.


I board the train and everything is going great. I had to transfer twice to two different trains. At the first transfer point, I switched to the train I believed I would be taking. I was stopped. 'This ain't your train, kid.' Said the conductor. 'Why, yes it is!' I said as I proudly showed him my ticket. 'Nah, you need to pay extra to ride this train, this ticket allows you to ride THAT (points to another train) train.' 'Hmm, ok.' I get on the train, its leaving 5 minutes after the one I had planned on going on. Thats ok though. I boarded the new train and we left. About halfway through the conductor said 'Alright, we will wait at this station for a bit so if you need to use the bathroom, please do so.' I still had another 8 stops and a transfer to another train and it was 10:40 hmmmm. Something wasn't matching up. I finally got to the last station where I would transfer and take one more train. It was 11:10. The next train left at 11:45 and would arrive at 12:35. Perfect. I called my mom and let out a long vent of anger and frustration with the lack of help I get at this place. Then I called Hilary, my girlfriend and did the same. THEN I called the camp and informed them. They were kiiiiinda cool with it. One of those 'Oh, Im sorry that you're fucking everything up...that sucks, dude' kind of attitudes. I boarded the train and looked for a seat. Threw my backpack up in the little baggage storer thing and shoved my duffle bag under the seat and listened to my ipod. After a few stops I took my ipod off because I realized they weren't announcing stops and I needed to be at full attention to know when to get off. So I looked and looked and looked. When is my stop? I looked some more. Some of the stations didn't even have signs saying what stop it was. There weren't maps. I was basically alone on the train. Hmmmm. I was in the total-middle-of-no-where-est place I've ever been in. I thought the place where I lived was rural. The places this train was going by were just totally empty. Nothing. I'm not even sure animals stayed there because it would be too rural for even them. Next stop I poked my head out the car door to see if there was a sign. There was! It said 'SEKIYAMA' Which is exactly where I was going. Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinally. I grabbed my duffle bag and ran off the train. Wait a minute. I had one more bag.... The train bound for Nagano (yes, where the Olympics were that one time) had sitting in it two thousand dollars of travelers checks, my laptop, my external harddrives with all my photos and music so far, a razor, deodorant, and all of the props I needed to show about my hometown during my mandatory 20 minute speech on Chicago I had to give at the camp. Perrrrrrrfect. Before I started freaking out. I bolted into the station and told the old Japanese guy working there what had happened. He explained it was going to Nagano. As if I didn't understand that. I said 'I need it back, there is important stuff in there. It's probably worth more than the train and this town put together!' He said he would call Nagano station later and then call me to tell me when they get it. Then I would have to go to Nagano to pick it up later. Perfect, he can just call my cellphone that I didn't have yet because my supervisor never helped me get it. I gave him the number of a guy who would be at the camp.

The camp went well. We did camp things like make curry over an open fire. (Im not kidding, we did.) I will tell you more about that another day. It poured the whole time we were at the camp. So much that the train tracks flooded between Sekiyama station and Nagano. No trains were running there for a few days. So, what the hell could I do? I told my teacher and he was like 'Fine, I will take you, it takes an hour to get there and then an hour to get back... if there is no traffic' We left and there was lots of traffic. After about 5 hours, I was back in Sekiyama waiting for a train to do my whole adventure backwards to get BACK to Urasa so I could walk by myself to my apartment (about a 20 minute walk) in the rain and pitch black (no streetlights off of the main strip in urasa) with 40 pounds of luggage and I didn't have a key and there would be no internet when I got there. Thanks for the help mr. supervisor. Zack, my predecessor, had said he would leave the key in the storage room, I reminded him a bunch of times and he said he would try and remember. But there was NO freakin way I was walking all the way to that house with the slightest chance that key wasn't there. I went back to the hotel near the station (not the one full of prostitutes) and booked myself a room. In fact, they gave me the same room I had. I found my comb that I left there. Hooray. I emailed the local helper lady, Yoko and asked her to help me move in. She said 'TOTALLY.' She saved my life.


Anyway, that sucked, dude.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Things Move Slow When You're Getting Started

Since my predecessor is still here, I have had to sleep in a hotel. No biggie. It has internet. I was informed, however, that one of the nights I must sleep in a different hotel across the street because they couldn't book it. I was in 'Hotel Okabe' but had to move to 'Hotel Paramount' I was told that Paramount was a very very very bad hotel by my vice principal and he apologized over and over for making me stay there. My dreams of a large plush bed were crushed when he told me this.

I switched to the other hotel, with the help of Zack, my predecessor, for a night and showed up to check in at noon. I figured that maybe my room wouldnt be ready since it was early but I could leave my luggage there. Well we walked into the hotel and there was no one there. There were video slot machines in the lobby as well as weird sculptures and dirty coffee cups. We rang the bell on the counter. No one came out. We found a note that said 'Be back soon, call this number if you need help.' So Zack and I called the number.The phone behind the desk started ringing. No luck. So we left and got lunch and then came back.

When we arrived back there was an old Japanese man drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes playing slot machine in a wife beater and sweatpants. I asked if we could check in, clearly this man worked here as his attire fit the atmosphere perfectly. He let out a disgruntled sigh and said 'HAI.' He gave me my room key. He didnt even need to know my name, usually I would this is because I am the only foreigner at the hotel, but this time I think he knew because I was the only person in the entire hotel.

I got to my room, it was surprisingly big but rather revolting. There were stains on everythere. The beds, the carpets, the walls, the desk, the TV. The TV came with free pronography and two other channels. There was no internet. The airconditioner was broken and only put out hot air. There was an add for a massage for 2000 yen, that is about 20 bucks. All I had to do was dial 367 on the phone and they would come give me a massage. Clearly they were running prostitutes out of this hotel. So I called and arranged a massage.
About twenty minutes later my friend playing slots in the lobby appeared in my room with a small case that I hoped contained oils. He opened it up and put on latex gloves and then put, what looked like toothpaste, all over the gloves. He told me to leave my clothes on (WHAT?). At this point, I thought, I dont really want a massage anymore. He took a crazy looking chair out of the closest and in English said 'Theez eez feelz good.' Ok, I lied, I didn't get a massage, but I assumed that is what it would have been like.

I decided I didn't want to stay in my room after I dropped my bags off so I went with Zack to the fireworks fest in the town over. They were pretty, here are some pictures.

After the festival, I went back and went to sleep. There was a small earthquake that night, but nothing I couldn't handle.

The next morning I packed up my bag and got the HECK out of there. When I was leaving the guy who was smoking in the wifebeater waslike 'You get free breakfast when you stay here! you should go eat it' I didn't want to get near any food in that place. I still think there were no other people in that whole hotel...

Theeeeeeeen the other night was the Nagaoka Fireworks Festival. Nagaoka is the closest 'city' to me. Its a decent size and is about 45 minutes by car or 10 minutes by bullet train. Not too shabby. Anyway, this festival is famous in Japan as its the largest fireworks show in Japan. The finale is called the 'Super Phoenix' where they basically blow up a bunch of huge fireworks all alone this river. My expectations were kinda high but fireworks... I dunno. I like em and they are really cool... but I wasnt sure if they could hold my attention for two full hours.

I took a road trip there with Zack and some people who live in my building, they were all really nice. We left right after school so I was in my work clothes and was burning up, I was so sweaty. That is the one thing that really gets me down about Japan. The lack of central air/heating. It is so insanely humid and hot here in the summer that its impossible to go anywhere without sweating your tush off. I dont know why more people dont invest. Fans just do not cut it.

BACK to the story. We drove there and well... I guess there isnt much of a story to tell other than that it was the COOLEST FIREWORKS SHOW IN THE WHOLE WORLD OHMYGOSHITWASCRAAAAAAAAZY. They were easily the loudest, largest, and most colorful fireworks I have ever seen in my whole life. Fireworks shows in Japan are really interesting because various local companies and stuff pay for sections of the fireworks shows. So you get a bunch of mini shows all in a row. So 2 minutes will be from a car dealership and then 2 minutes will be from a school. There is usually a short one minute break between the mini-shows. BUT this one has major Japanese corporations paying for parts so it is crazy. Here are some examples of what I saw...


CLICK HERE TO SEE FIREWORKS FIREWORKS FIREWORKS

CRAZY.

Monday, August 3, 2009

Situations Situations Situations.

Every time I travel out of the country (sometimes even in the country) I find myself, at least once, in a situation where I'm think "how on earth did I get myself into this situation?" It's not usually a bad situation, like, when I was accidentally involved in that bank robbery in Senegal. Just kidding (heh-heh). It's actually never the situations that you think either it's situations like this...

So all week for the first week I was at school the principal was all "How strong are you with alcohol? HAH. HAH. HAH." The principal is this shortish serious Japanese man that everyone says looks a bit like a tanuki. This is a tanuki.


This is what Japanese people perceive tanukis to look like...



it's kind of like a raccoon without it's bank robber mask on. (Bank robberies TWICE in one story? Heh-heh...uh oh.) Anyway, I'm not completely sure I understand why people think he look like that. Either way, he was SUPER psyched for my welcome party. I was kiiiiinda excited and kiiiinda nervous. The one thing I'm not a huge fan of is Japanese business etiquette. I'm fine with being polite to people and buying gifts, I'm a nice dude. But I'm not a fan of ultra cautious politeness to upper people, you can totally ruin your life and other people's if you use the wrong word for "Good afternoon, Principal." (You laugh, but many JETs have died this way.) And the other thing I'm not a huge fan of is the college-style drink-a-thon work parties. I'm all about having a beer or some wine with people to celebrate. But...not the whole business men getting sloppy drunk and then walking home.

So Thursday after school I get driven to a restaurant, or should I say "the restaurant" since there is only one restaurant in my town. (I'm kidding, there are three...and two are Italian food.) We went to a Japanese place. Do you still call it Japanese food if you're IN Japan? Answer: Yes. I walk into our private dining room, a decently sized room with a long table on the tatami mat floor surrounded by pillows. The principal is just sitting there by himself. I walked in with another teacher who immediately dives for a phone in the room to call downstairs to order beer and edamame for the three of us. Eventually two more teachers come. Nice.

So here I am, 23 year old Mike, sitting in a room with five 50+ year old Japanese men for the welcome party (I think most of the teachers forgot or couldn't come... or something.) More food is brought to us we had sashimi, pig stomach in some type of sauce, some veggies, edamame and fried chicken nugget things. It was all good. The principal did the honors of ordering a giant bottle of rice wine, sake. Niigata is famous for sake so I was excited to try it. We had Hakkaisan Sake which was significantly better than I thought. In fact, I liked it. I didn't really think I was too into sake, but this was good. Really really good. Hakkaisan is the name of a mountain in Niigata, I can see it from my school, actually. Nice.

So I was playing it safe, I sipped my sake nice and slow, I took my time. Over the course of two hours I had, maybe, 4 cups of sake. These are small small cups, by the way, each cup holds maybe two shots. So I was in pretty good shape, I wouldn't have driven, but I was totally cool. Really cool. The other gentlemen, I can't speak for. After we (they) finished two bottles of sake they ordered another one. This time served warm instead of cold. I had another two cups (baby cups) of this over an hour. Like I said, I was good, it sounds like a lot when I say it in how many cups I had, but it was really like sipping a shot glass, I'm not even kidding. I looked around and realized I'd been conversing entirely in Japanese with these old drunk men for three hours straight and I thought to myself, how did I get in this situation? They loved me. The principal thought my name, Michael, was pronounced "Mic-hah-yale" and I explained "no, it's my-kuhl" he was blown away and asked if Michael Jackson spells it the same way. I said "Yes" and, naturally, he called me "Michael Jackson." For the rest of the night. He thought it was so funny.

This wasn't the "moment" though. The "moment" came later. I was walking back to my hotel with all the teachers and each one eventually went their own way. At the end it was just the principal and I. We were being very chatty about my girlfriend, in fact they offered her a job if I decide to stay for two years... we'll see, Hilary. He asked if she was tall, and explained that American women are so tall that it scares him. He was pretty cool. He was also pretty drunk. Then he's like "let's go to 7-11" So in we went. A 65 year old drunk Japanese raccoon high school principal and a tall slightly buzzed white stick-like american discussing my girlfriend completely in Japanese. It was one of the most bizarre situations I've ever found myself in. I bought melon-bread and a pocari sweat (the gatorade of Japan). He bought a big bowl of curry, raisin bread and a tea. I'm pretty sure we're best friends now. Even though he probably won't talk to my at school for the rest of my stay here.