*L*U*N*C*H*

The cafeteria at school just opened. The way it works is, at least 24 hours in advance I have to let them know that I plan on eating lunch in the cafeteria. They deduct the cost of lunch from my paycheck. At lunch there are 3 options to pick from Lunch A, Lunch B, and Noodle Lunch. Lunch A is usually meat, Lunch B is usually fish and Noodle Lunch, as you probably guessed, is a noodles. One day I signed up for Lunch A. I had some small fatty greasy fried chicken cubes, a handful of boiled vegetables, a small piece of fruit, a bowl of rice, and a cup of miso soup. It wasn't the most satisfying meal I've had here, but it got the job done. I brought lunch from home afew days and then decided to try the school lunch again. This time I signed up for B lunch. It was Chinese-style sauce with squid on a bed of rice. My other option was entirely un-readable so I went with this...

I got to the cafeteria walked to the front and asked 'Where is the B lunch?' The lunch lady stared for a second and looked a confused. 'B-Lunch?' 'I signed up for B-Lunch' All that sat in front of me were plates with fried chicken chunks on it. 'Uh. UH! UMMM.. B-Lunch.. .Hmmmm' I was starting to feel a bit embarrassed since students and other teachers were standing there being like 'B-Lunch???' She asked some other lady who proceeded to run to the back room of the cafeteria. I was asked to step to the side and wait a second. People walked by and smiled as they took their big plate with chicken, salad, and a slice of pineapple by me and walked to the miso soup and bowl of rice line. I heard some banging around in the kitchen, various crashes, bashes and booms. I think I heard a whistle go off and an engine start. Finally a lady emerged from a side door with a bowl in her hand. 'Hai! B-Lunch!' She handed it off with a smile. AT least I thought she was smiling, her face was hidden by a mask, the lunch ladies have to wear them because they are afraid of getting swine flu or spreading it or something. Either that or they have to wear it in the situation that some B-Lunch disaster occurs.

I peered into my bowl. I could tell there was some rice at the bottom. On top of that, it was all rather questionable. There was a brownish gooey substance filled with all kinds of treasures. I recognized some onion in there, some stringy things, a think there was a broken lego, a cigarette maybe. I sat down at the lunch table with my fellow teachers. I could tell, I was 'That guy' I was the 'B-Lunch guy' they were all trying to be nice to me but I could tell... they were 'just being nice' because I got the B-Lunch. I looked around at the hundreds of students in the cafeteria. Every one had a tray of A-Lunch. Each laughing, smiling, shoving their pineapple chunks into their mouths. They wanted me to see how great a choice they made for lunch today. Not one single person had a B-Lunch. I needed to not look like an idiot. I needed to eat. So I shoveled the first spoonful into my mouth. Give me a moment to gather my thoughts on the taste... hmmm... ok... imagine you had a horrible horrible cold. Something where your nose was running constantly and you were sniffing and blowing your nose. Just a real mess. Imagine you collected all that snot from your cold, chunks and all and put that on rice. Now make it taste fishy. Add squid. Voila. B-LUNCH!

I managed to build a type of mine in my bowl where I could get the bottom rice out relatively un-tainted by the dark-sided sauce that lay on top of it. I finished as fast as I could and went back to the office. Now... I sit... in shame. I am the B-Lunch-eater.

In other news: My mom sent me chips and salsa. I will certainly be eating that when I return to my apartment today. I imagine that will kill anything that survives from the B-Lunch.

That's all folks.