The Dullest Akaike

I find myself in awkward situations a lot.

I was riding the train one afternoon with my friend Matt, frequently people will say random things to us in English or Japanese. This doesn't usually happen with anyone else on our trip, but people really seem to enjoy talking to us for some reason. On this particular day and old lady and an old man were staring directly at us with giant ear to ear smiles on their faces. The old lady says "Are you from America?" "Yes. I'm from Louisianna, Mike is from Chicago" (Matt said that.) We had a short conversation about why we were here, what we were doing, what our hobbies were and stuff. Matt said he lives right off of the "Akaike" stop. Coincedene: So do the old people! They told us that the old man was a Noh theater actor. (Noh theater is a pretty strange style of theater... you can wikipedia it if you want to learn more.) And apparently this couple has a Noh theater inside their house. Or so they claim. Anyway, they eventually asked us for our phone numbers and told us we had to go to their house one day. This is where I got nervous...

At our orientation they continuously said "Japan is NOT safe." "Do NOT give your phone numbers out to strangers" "Do NOT tell strangers where you live, or your full name." "Many people think Japan is safe but Japan is NOT safe."

Not to mention the years and years of "Don't talk to strangers." that is drilled into our skulls from the time of birth. or "Don't get into a strangers car." "Don't go anywhere with someone you don't know."

We gave them our numbers...
I couldn't help but think we'd show up at their home one day and there'd be 25 buff men who would torture us. OR they'd brand obscene Japanese words on our faces. Maybe they'd brainwash us to the point where we became sweater-vest-wearing A+ students who says things like "That's swell." or "Aw shucks." I also imagined them saying "Go into that room!" and we'd walk into a room full of American students where we'd be locked into a zoo like room where people would come to watch us walk around a small room that is decorated like an American home so we'd be in our "Natural environment." My family would definitely never hear from me ever again.

Well Matt got off at the Akaike stop and they insisted he get a ride home from them. Matt hopped into their Mercedes and drove off. I still had 8 more stops to go so I kept to the train. The next weekend we decided to call them and see if we could go to their house. How much damage could an old couple do? They never answered, their phone just rang and rang and rang. About two weeks went by and we never saw them. One night at about 7 or 8 during rush hour when the trains were packed Matt and I were riding home and I noticed a familiar face. What are the chances? The old lady and man were sitting in the jam-packed train. I see her wave me over and she said "Can you come over right NOW?" "No. How about tuesday?" "Tuesday at 10 am?" "Perfect." I was nervous, but I also thought, these were just sweet old people.

At school the next day we told people what happened and that we were going over and they all said. "You guys are gonna get killed." or "You guys are dumb." Matt wasn't scared, but to be honest, I was starting to get a little bit nervous...

Tuesday comes, I wake up at 8 am because it takes me a while to get to Akaike. I meet Matt at the train station. The old couple decided to not show up. After 45 minutes of waiting for them and multiple calling attempts, they never showed up. I got stood up by an 80-something year old couple. What the hell? How is that for anticlimactic? I bet they were sitting around the corner in their car watching us and throwing their heads back in laughter. The just LOVE to stand up American college students because we easily just walk into traps. Either that or their torture equiptment was malfunctioning that morning so they called it off. Damnit, I got stood up by two old people. What the hell?

Next Post: Finally, Tokyo.