CUBED

The following story isn't meant to bash Japan, it's mostly just meant to show you how difficult it is to get things done here sometimes...

I bought a car. It's a 1998 Nissan Cube. It looks a lot like a refrigerator on it's side... with wheels. It's nice though, clean. Getting a car in Japan couldn't be harder (unless of course you had to catch a unicorn and deliver to the DMV yourself) and it couldn't be more ridiculous.

First, getting the car was difficult because I had two options. Take a train for over two hours to this guy for a 30 minute meeting to look at cars that I could lease for 300 bucks a month, then take the train back home. THEN one week later take the train BACK out to him to get the car, then drive two hours to get back. OR I could do a one time, hour long drive to a guy nearby and BUY a car for $2,000. CLearly, I went for the second.

I was leaving work on a friday and I got a text from a local lady who is helping me. It said 'you need to drive to city hall and get a special sheet to buy the car, then you have to drive to Muikamachi (one town over) and go to the police station and get more papers. We can pick up the car on sunday if you do this.' I really wanted this car. I didn't have much going for me. So I walked home, and then I got a second text saying 'YOU MUST COME OVER NOW! RUN! THE POLICE STATION CLOSES AT 4:00! I WILL DRIVE YOU' It was about 1:30. So I walked to this ladies house, it was now 2:00. She explained what I needed to do and that I would have to borrow her car to do these things. I drove to city hall. Filled out obnoxious paperwork then I was stuck. I didn't have a hanko... they wouldn't let me put the car under my name if I didn't have one.

*a brief note on hanko. A hanko is a name stamp. Instead of signing for things here, you hanko for them. Signing, in Japan, means nothing. It's no good. You have to get this stamp and register it with city hall and keep it on record. Then they can check against their scanned version of your hanko. I was supposed to have a hanko made and registered for me when I got here, apparently. But my school not only didn't have it ready for me when I got here, but they didn't make one at all or mention that I needed one.

Back in action:
Luckily the local-lady appeared out of nowhere at the city hall with her husbands hanko. She put the car under his name and then put me as the primary driver. I was saved. Briefly. Then she said 'YOU MUST LEAVE NOW FOR THE POLICE STATION IN MUIKAMACHI!!!' So I get back in her and drive myself to Muikamachi, it takes about 20 minutes to get there. At this point it was 4:00 when we arrived. Apparently they don't customers after 4:30 because "they are very very mean" according to Yoko (the local lady who is helping me... I shoulda just told you her name earlier). So we get to the station I ask for the paperwork. They look at me for a second and then are like"You can't get that here... it's at a different building now. I'll take you there." So we walked a block down and I go into this other building. There are a bunch of people just sitting there. This is, basically, the DMV of Japan. They stared at me. I asked for the paperwork and they did the rude *Siiiiiiiiigh* kind of thing and then helped me. They gave me the stuff and were like "By the way, we CLOSED at 4:00" It was 4:15. They helped me anyway... even though they actually closed at 5.

On the papers I had to fill out my name and address and all this other random info. Then I came to a page that said I had to draw a map. Actually, two maps. One showing a map of how to get to my apartment. The other, a map of the parking lot where I will park. I went to Yokos house that night and we filled the stuff out. I drew a map of Urasa and marked where my apartment was. It was a fine map. Detailed. Not amazing. But you could definitely find the apartment on it. The parking lot map was fine too. So I gave it to Yoko and she said 'This may not be good enough... but maybe its ok... we will see' My first thought was "Why don't they just copy a REAL map and I'll highlight where my house is. OR why don't they just use google maps and I'll show them where I live. Why did I have to draw this map anyway?"

Sunday, I picked up the car and gave the dealer the papers. He looked at them and cringed. "These won't be good enough." We went over them and said MAYBE the map of Urasa would be good enough, but the parking lot one wasn't good enough. It needed to be relative in scale. If 4 centimeters = 2 meters then it needed to all over the whole thing. I was pissed. This was stupid.

The reason I needed to do this was to prove I had a parking space because there is no street parking in most of Japan, especially Urasa. He said he'd try and turn it in but wasn't sure. I literally spent between 30-45 minutes drawing these maps. First in pencil. THEN over it in black ink.

I drove the car home. It had temporary 3-day insurance. I needed to, first, get new insurance, then bring the car back to the dealer and he's register it and give me my new license place.

So yesterday I got an urgent call, my temporary insurance ran out. I needed to get new insurance THAT day. So during my 40 minute lunch break I drove to the insurance company where Yoko anxiously waited for me. I sat and we talked about insurance with a guy for 20 minutes. It was decided that I couldn't get insurance because... I didn't have a hanko. So I left, I had to go back to school. Yoko got insurance for the car under HER name and I just had to pay her for it. Let me just step back and take a look at what Yoko has done for me so far... she purchased a cellphone for me on her family plan, she bought a car for me under her husbands name, and now she bought car insurance under her name. This woman needs an award. Seriously. I'd be phoneless and car-less without her.

Friday I was going to the car dealer to get my new plates. But as it turns out... my maps didn't go through. So he redid them himself and I have to go monday.

This is getting to be a bit ridiculous.

On a side note: I was just informed that this weekend is a walking festival that I am required to partake in. I have to walk a half marathon with my students and other teachers. In a giant loop. Faaantastic. I do, however, get a day off of school for doing it. (I walk on sunday and don't come to school on monday. Probably because I won't be able to walk.)


Here's the "Cube"
(It looks like a minivan but it's a bit smaller... it's closer to a Scion)

*L*U*N*C*H*

The cafeteria at school just opened. The way it works is, at least 24 hours in advance I have to let them know that I plan on eating lunch in the cafeteria. They deduct the cost of lunch from my paycheck. At lunch there are 3 options to pick from Lunch A, Lunch B, and Noodle Lunch. Lunch A is usually meat, Lunch B is usually fish and Noodle Lunch, as you probably guessed, is a noodles. One day I signed up for Lunch A. I had some small fatty greasy fried chicken cubes, a handful of boiled vegetables, a small piece of fruit, a bowl of rice, and a cup of miso soup. It wasn't the most satisfying meal I've had here, but it got the job done. I brought lunch from home afew days and then decided to try the school lunch again. This time I signed up for B lunch. It was Chinese-style sauce with squid on a bed of rice. My other option was entirely un-readable so I went with this...

I got to the cafeteria walked to the front and asked 'Where is the B lunch?' The lunch lady stared for a second and looked a confused. 'B-Lunch?' 'I signed up for B-Lunch' All that sat in front of me were plates with fried chicken chunks on it. 'Uh. UH! UMMM.. B-Lunch.. .Hmmmm' I was starting to feel a bit embarrassed since students and other teachers were standing there being like 'B-Lunch???' She asked some other lady who proceeded to run to the back room of the cafeteria. I was asked to step to the side and wait a second. People walked by and smiled as they took their big plate with chicken, salad, and a slice of pineapple by me and walked to the miso soup and bowl of rice line. I heard some banging around in the kitchen, various crashes, bashes and booms. I think I heard a whistle go off and an engine start. Finally a lady emerged from a side door with a bowl in her hand. 'Hai! B-Lunch!' She handed it off with a smile. AT least I thought she was smiling, her face was hidden by a mask, the lunch ladies have to wear them because they are afraid of getting swine flu or spreading it or something. Either that or they have to wear it in the situation that some B-Lunch disaster occurs.

I peered into my bowl. I could tell there was some rice at the bottom. On top of that, it was all rather questionable. There was a brownish gooey substance filled with all kinds of treasures. I recognized some onion in there, some stringy things, a think there was a broken lego, a cigarette maybe. I sat down at the lunch table with my fellow teachers. I could tell, I was 'That guy' I was the 'B-Lunch guy' they were all trying to be nice to me but I could tell... they were 'just being nice' because I got the B-Lunch. I looked around at the hundreds of students in the cafeteria. Every one had a tray of A-Lunch. Each laughing, smiling, shoving their pineapple chunks into their mouths. They wanted me to see how great a choice they made for lunch today. Not one single person had a B-Lunch. I needed to not look like an idiot. I needed to eat. So I shoveled the first spoonful into my mouth. Give me a moment to gather my thoughts on the taste... hmmm... ok... imagine you had a horrible horrible cold. Something where your nose was running constantly and you were sniffing and blowing your nose. Just a real mess. Imagine you collected all that snot from your cold, chunks and all and put that on rice. Now make it taste fishy. Add squid. Voila. B-LUNCH!

I managed to build a type of mine in my bowl where I could get the bottom rice out relatively un-tainted by the dark-sided sauce that lay on top of it. I finished as fast as I could and went back to the office. Now... I sit... in shame. I am the B-Lunch-eater.

In other news: My mom sent me chips and salsa. I will certainly be eating that when I return to my apartment today. I imagine that will kill anything that survives from the B-Lunch.

That's all folks.

New Flavors This Week...

So this week has brought some variety into my life here...

First, I got to visit BOTH of the other schools I will be working at. There is my base school that is a prestigious High School then I have two "travel schools." The first one I visited reminded me a bit of my high school at home. It was big, the classes were big (about 40 per class), but it was really laid back. The students aren't particularly good at English, but are playful, talkative and don't really like school... like any high schooler.

The other school is smaller, the students know basically no English. In fact, their English classes are conducted in Japanese. So... It's gonna be tough. But at the same time, the students are really fun and rowdy. Apparently they swear in English a lot (which I will just ignore) but I kind of like the change of pace from my base school which is full of the golden-students of Japan who do TONS of homework and study really hard and get into the "best schools in Japan" for college.

The OTHER variety is comes from the ice cream store down the street from my house. It's this teeny tiny place that makes their own ice creams from scratch and the flavors change all the time. This time I went in the flavors were Chocolate Chocolate Chip, Pumpkin, White Mocha, Corn, Fresh Milk, Rum Raisin, Tiramisu, Blueberry Yogurt, Plum Sherbert, Stawberry/Mochi/Bean Paste, Black Soy, and a few others that I forgot. Either way... I got Tiramisu and it was so therapeutic. I never believed in ice cream so much. Not only was it the best ice cream I have ever had, it was the best Tiramisu I've ever had. There was actual tiramisu mixed into the ice cream so every now and then you'd get a nice big hunk of cake soaked in mocha and chocolate. Oh man.

Hilary got Chocolate Chocolate Chip and White Mocha. Both were super smooth and super tasty.

On the way out I bought little cups of corn and pumpkin. They tasted like... corn and pumpkin. Not pumpkin pie style pumpkin. Like... raw pumpkin. It was good. The Tiramisu was better though.

I am starting to enjoy my stay here more.

Bring on the Imports

Today I am going to go to the Foreign Import store in Nagaoka to see what American things I can get my hands on. Crystal Pepsi? Mico-magic french fries? Hot Pockets? Chef Boyardee? Spam? Velveeta? Krafts Singles? Eggo Waffles? I like to imagine that it's just a whole store of food that gives you all sorts of digestive issues... after you make a purchase they throw in some pepto bismol.

King Mukade

I have two fears regarding my stay in Japan. 1) Huntsman Spiders (HUGE spiders) and 2) Mukade (Poisonous centipedes)

1) Huntsman. I will spare you a photograph of one of these guys since my friend Marty sometimes reads this and is frightened by spiders to the extent that he would never come back to this blog if the spiders picture were on here. Feel free to google one though.

The bad news: They are all over rural Japan. They grow to be about the side of your hand and sometimes your face..(that's including their legs..not JUST their body. I wouldn't come to this country if their body got that big)

The good news: They eat mukade (I'll get to them in a minute) and my predecessor never saw one. They don't live indoors but sometimes make it into apartments to look for food but won't bug people. They don't even make webs really, they make these little holes in the ground. So basically they are my protectors. I saw one outside one day but it was just hanging out on a chair by a garden. Scary... but harmless.


2)MUKADE. These things scare the CRAP out of me. They are poisonous and bite and are fast and everything bad about bugs rolled up into one.

The bad news: They big you and it hurts like hell. They get in walls and in floors and will creep into your bed at night to bite you. You don't die from them, but sometimes you have to go to the hospital if you don't take care of them (usually when you get bit from a really big one). They also look disgusting. They look like devils.

The good news: They are relatively rare in Niigata. They mostly hang out in southern Japan where it's warmer. My predecessor never saw one around these parts, however he got bit by one in Kyoto while he was sleeping. He threw it off of his chest and, naturally, he had issues getting back to sleep after it bit him because he heard it run away but never saw where it went... yikes.

The REALLY bad news:
Last night Hilary and I were watching some TV and she said "AH! What IS that?" and a little baby mukade came scurrying across the floor. I stood up to turn a light on and maybe grab a shoe to take that bugger out. (A baby is was about as long as your pointer finger and was pretty thin.) Anyway, Hil went to smash it and right when her hand went down it whipped its head up and bit her on the finger. Luckily it was a little one and although it hurt, there was no swelling or poison or anything. but... this is not a good sign as far as my fear goes. We tore up the house looking for where it went but have to find that thing. I think it sneaks in through the floor in my bedroom... great.

For your viewing pleasure... a mukade (full size, not a baby.)

Work Work Work Work WORK

I realized after an hour and a half of work that I had successfully written the kanji for 'Urine' correctly all over a piece of paper on my desk and I had gotten paid to do so. I got paid the same as the teachers who are furiously grading, correcting, preparing, and writing all around me. No wonder there is an awkward tension in this workplace.

*I am studying for a proficiency test in Japanese (JLPT) and the kanji for urine is one of the kanji on the test.

Culture SHOCKERS

I have been to Japan number of times (This is the fourth time) and the first 3 times I was in less rural areas. I also did homestays so whenever there was a problem, I had someone who could help me. THIS time around, not only do I not have someone to help me out really, but I am basically completely isolated. Some JETs get placed with a bunch of other JETs near them, some don't. I don't. I quickly realized that my other study abroad trips here were a lot more observant of Japanese culture than they were participating in it. I got to do the fun and traditional things like onsens, festivals, and that kind of stuff. This time around it's a very different experience. Not that it is bad, but it is very different.

Coming here for language programs meant that basically everyday I would have contact with other foreign friends my age. Since the JET Programme starts in August, you come to town right when everyone is leaving town. The school starts summer break right when you arrive. The result is a lot of waiting, sitting, and making yourself look productive for a month. I'm sure this is some reason for the JET Programme to start in August but I don't really see it. I think it slowly drives people crazy before they see what the job is actually like. I will have been in Japan for over a month before I get to teach someone. I get paid for it, that is nice, but I won't have done anything relating to my job here yet.

This has given me a quick flash of culture shock. I'm not sure if it is completely culture shock though because it isn't really the Japanese culture that is stressing me. It's the isolation and the lack of mental stimulation that is doing it. The result is culture shock, I get frustrated with little things that shouldn't really bug me. Here are a list of a few things that have started to really wind me up.

Here is my disclaimer:
Don't get me wrong, Japan isn't necessarily doing anything wrong, it's more that there is this awkward stress one me and so small things start to wind me up when they shouldn't really. These are more like observations than criticizing Japan (for instance the man slupring his noodles really loud next to me, its a bit irritating)... although there are some things that I would probably change if I ruled this country, mostly for safety reasons... Let's let the culture shocking begin.

1) Bikes. This is the most frustrating thing for me, so far. Luckily I am not in Tokyo (anymore), where this is the worst. Biking on the sidwalks is totally cool in Japan. This results in crazy bike dodging. The sidewalks don't really have rules of their own as to which side you walk on. I assumed that it was 'stay on the left side' which would be the opposite of America. They drive on the left side of the road, so I figured you would walk on the left side too. On escalaters in Japan you stand on the left and walk on the right side. On the sidewalk, I walk on the left but that doesn't really seem to be the rule. People kind of are all over the place. In Tokyo, this is the worst. Imagine this scenario: One night, you are walking down a really busy street. There are loads of people coming toward you so you kind of have to weave in and out. You aren't moving at a snails pace, but you are by no means moving quickly. Now imagine doing this on a bike. It seems impossible, right? It is, for Americans. Japanese people weave through crowds on their bikes like it is no big deal. They go fast too. So for the walking foreigner, it really becomes some type of frogger-esque game. You will be walking and turn into a store and immediately hear squealing of bike breaks. From 2 feet away, a bike cruising will be sliding your way with a 70 year old lady or a 12 year old middle school student at the handle bars. Their face shows no sign of panic. (I don't know if that is a good thing or a bad thing... are they used to killing people with their bikes?) This wouldn't be a huge problem if you could see them from a distance, you'd both be able to prepare and move. But in a crowded city with no real rules as to which side you walk on...especially at night... this gets to be a dangerous game of "don't get killed" and that isn't my favorite game. Uno is.

2) Garbage.

I really can't bash Japan for this one. They should probably be doing this all over the world. But either way, it is really hard to deal with. The first problem with trash is that it is difficult to find a trash can anywhere. Why, you ask? For a few reasons. The first is that not too long ago there were gas attacks in Tokyo by a crazy religious group where they stuck gas bombs in garbage cans. After that, most public garbage cans were taken away. The next reason is because there isn't just a 'garbage' can. There are garbage canS (note the 'S'). Garbage is divided into many different groups. Depending on your area its divided into more or less groups. For me, I have to divide my garbage at home into 3 categories. Burnable, Nonburnable, and recyclables. Burnable is raw garbage, paper, all that good stuff. Nonburnable is plastic, metals, stuff like that. I am supposed to keep styrofoam and stuff in a separate bag. Recyclables are cans and plastic bottles. I have different drop off points for each of these once a week and some three times a week. Every other thursday is nonburnable and recyclables. This drop off point is about a block away. I walk down and put it there, but I can only put it there on the day they are due, none of this early drop off business. The burnable is MWF and its at the end of the street my apartment is on. I think every tuesday is nonburnable misc. stuff like plastic wrappers, plastic cups...and so on. The system is really tedious but it makes sense. Each kind of garbage goes to a place that specializes in disposing of that kind of garbage. Some areas of Japan are can to have up to 25 separate garbage types so mine isn't sooo bad. If you dispose of these the wrong way, you can get fined. I don't know how they know who you are or how to fine you, but they do. They probably can look at the trash and tell you are foreign. My predecessor got yelled at by some old lady once. Let's hope this doesn't happen to me. I missed trash day today already. At the end of the day though, it is kind of a pain in the butt to have a bowl of instant ramen and have to put the paper top in one garbage can, the plastic bowl in another and the little baggies of seasoning in another garbage can. Do this for every meal for a week and you will go nuts. Also walking down the street if you have a piece of trash... you will never find a garbage can unless you have a convenient store near you.

3) Following the rules.

I get the impression that a lot of Japan likes rules. OR at least they like to follow rules. You will never see J-walking in Japan. At least not nearly as much as you see in Chicago. There is rarely street crossing when it says 'don't walk' even if there are absolutely no cars. Everywhere in the world obviously needs to have SOME type of rules. A lack of rules makes it really really difficult to get stuff done. On the other hand, having too many rules makes it really really difficult to get stuff done too. I kind of like the American mindset that we have where, even if there is a rule, there is an option not to follow the rule. Sometimes it gets you in trouble, sometimes it makes someone elses job harder, but we like to find out ways around rules without completely breaking them.

Here in Japan, what we need are the rule benders. These are those nice people who go are so good at their job they know what is actually an important rule and what isn't. The people that go "Well you are supposed to do this, buuuut we can change that around to make it a little easier, just don't tell on me." My university in America severly lacked these types of people, especially the Administration. The school that I work for in Japan is full of really friendly people. They are all quite smart and all are hard workers. The school payed a lot of money for me to come work here which I am very grateful for. However, since they paid for me they feel it is necessary for me to show up to work even though I have, literally nothing to do here. I can see their reasoning. When looking at it on paper it makes sense, they paid for me, I must show up. The hard part is that I have to setup my whole life here. I have to register as an Alien (nanu nanu), open a bank account (alien registration is necessary for this), get a cellphone (alien registration is necessary for this too), get a car (alien registration is ALSO necessary for this), get some furniture (car is necessary for this, alien registration is necessary for the car...) so it gets complicated when everything closes at 5pm or earlier and I don't get out of work until 5:10pm. On top of that, it is really difficult to do all this stuff on my own. I know Japanese, but I don't know how to negotiate a phone service plan in Japanese. *I really wish the guy next to me would stop sluping his noodles so loud, that will be number 4 on the culture shock list* I have a half day on friday so that is the day I can get stuff done. BUT I don't have a car so I can pretty much get one thing done on fridays since all of these things aren't close enough together that I could walk from one place to another. When I get a car, that will make things easier. SO back to the rule bending.
Since I have to be at school all day, even though I don't do anything, if I want to leave I have to take a paid vacation. The rules can't really be bent. If I am not in the school, then it MUST be a vacation. Maybe this isn't as much of a Japanese thing as it is a 'real-life-Job thing' but, running small important errands to set my life up here... I dunno, I think that is worthy of a rule bending. I'm not asking for time to get groceries, more important things like... getting health insurance...stuff to make my life livable here. (Just to clarify that I don't really do anything here, I read 200 pages of a book yesterday and have studied 2,500 kanji flash cards online. (Not 2,500 kanji, just 2,500 flash cards, there is a lot of repetition.) SO, what I need is for someone to go "Well you are SUPPOSED to be here at work since we are paying you BUT you don't have anything to do here and you need to get things done to make your life easier, so let me help you out by letting you go do these things" I am sure there are people like this in Japan. I have just been warned so many times that a lot of Japanese workplaces are stricter and more rigid than what I am probably used to. It seems very heirarchy. *STOP SLURPING YOUR NOODLES*

4) Slurping Noodles


I am sorry, but this is just annoying. I bet if i made some loud noises in this work place everyone would be all 'ugh. rude american.' BUT if I were making loud noises because I was eating noodles, there would be no problem.

Now I'm not strict with table manners as my mother could attest to. The only pet peeve I have is loud eaters when I am not eating. If I am eating with you, go right ahead and make noise. But if no one in the room is eating... just keep it down. Eating noodles without slurping them is pretty easy. I do it basically every time I eat noodles. Maybe a little suck here and there to get a bit more pull on a heavy batch. But when there are two or three noodles left you don't need a big *SLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRP* to get them in. Now, again, I am trying to tell myself, this is what everyone does here and I will have to get used to it. Japan doesn't need to change, this is just how my brain processes these things. During culture shock, these things get extra annoying. It's like being pregnant, except, instead of getting hungry all the time, you get frustrated by cultural differences... maybe it's not like being pregnant. Bad analogy. Anyway. The guy finished his noodles. The teacher is a really nice guy. I don't dislike him one bit. I just have a hard time telling myself "loud slurping is a good thing to do." But you bet your ass that when I go to a Ramen restaurant next I am gonna slurp louder than everyone in there. Sometimes you have to fight fire with fire. I guess it's not fighting fire with fire, it's more "If you can't be 'em join 'em." I guess that is how all things should go with culture shock. All culture shock remedies are just... 'Join 'em' because they aren't going to change their ways for you because they shouldn't have to. Aaaaanyway.


In other news: I am getting a car in a week, yaaaaay. I also got an Air Conditioner installed in my apartment. I lucked out because a local lady who is helping me out from time to time said she had one left around that still worked but that it is expensive to install... lucky for us though, her hubby is an electrictian so he installed it for me. Usually they cost around 80,000 yen (about 800 dollars) so I got one for 11,000 yen (About 100 bucks) Hooray!