Tuesday, October 27, 2009

D-I-V-O-R-C-E

don't know how big this was on the news in America, if any of you know this story or not but it stuck a bit of a chord with me here.

Here is a probably too-quick summary of what I've read...

So we start with a man from Tennessee and a woman from Japan. They had two kids, 6 and 8, and they lived together in Japan for a while. Eventually they moved to America and after some issues, they got divorced. Nothing too crazy going on here, yet. So in their divorce the Mom got custody but they Dad was still in the picture. The dad, though, worried that the mother was going to take the kids and return with them to Japan and he'd never get to see them. She wrote him some strongly worded email about how she was going to take them back to Japan because it was hard watching them lose their Japanese identity in America. I can see why she'd be upset, still, not a smart thing to write. Well, in order to prevent this, necessary precautions were taken in court. If she left with the kids to Japan, all financial ties would be terminated for child support and education funds from the father. Also, if she fled, he would be granted full custody of the kids in America. The mother apologized for her email and said she was just upset and shouldn't have written that. Though, I guess later when they questioned whether she planned on fleeing the country she wouldn't really answer straight.

I don't think anyone is doing anything "wrong," I mean, people divorce and divorces are typically pretty dirty things. I guess I shouldn't say no one is doing anything wrong but so far everyone is equally wrong.

The court said it was ok for the Mom to take the kids on a trip to Japan over the summer, but the dad was nervous about it. They went and returned safely to start school. School started and on the first day, the dad got a call saying his kids weren't at school. After some phone calls the dad called his ex-wife's father in Japan. He said "Don't worry, they kids are here and they are safe." Uh oooooooooooooooh.

He decided to hop on a plane and go to Japan and get his kids back.

He got to Japan, he found his ex-wife walking the kids to school and he was like "Get in the car!" They hopped in and drove off to the closest U.S. Embassy. He parked and was steps away from the Embassy when the cops stopped him and arrested him for child abduction. He got thrown in Jail.

Then it got complicated... The father was a Japanese citizen. The kids also had Japanese passports. The father and the wife were STILL married in Japan, technically. If he went to Japan and just lived there to be near his kids, it wouldn't really work out because when people get divorced in Japan, apparently there isn't a western-style custody type-o-thing where kids get to see both parents. The only person who gets custody is the mother, the father is outta the picture. Another big issues was that Japan wasn't part of the 1980 Hague Convention which basically makes it so that if someone steals kids from one country and escapes to another, the government will send them back to their country safely. (Even though Cuba isn't part of the Hague Convention, the case is kind of similar to what happened with Elian Gonzales... the mom took him and went to America, she died on the journey so Elian went to his great-uncle in Miami. America kept him until the father was like "What? are you crazy! Give me back my son." and so we sent in guys with massive guns to retrieve and terrify the little kid so he could go home safely. Maybe not the best retrieval plan, but he got back to his father safely.) Anyway, this dad-in-Japan was basically screwed. He was in jail in Japan, the odds were totally against him and he might be facing up to 5 years in prison.

He got released after a few weeks in Jail. He wasn't charged for child abduction (which would have given him a few years in prison) and Japan said they were going to work with the family to solve the issue of international child custody. They even said they will reevaluate the 1980 Hague Convention (whether they actually mean what they say, we'll see, but it sounds like they're playing fairly.)

By the way, this was never ever mentioned on the news here. When asked why it didn't even make local news where it occurred, the newspaper said "Because this is NOT news."

So there was a lot to digest and there were some decent points from both sides as to who is wrong and who is right. The thing that kind of surprised me after this, though, was that apparently this type of story isn't all that uncommon. After reading this story, a bunch of other similar ones surfaced. Including one where a mother took one of two children back to Japan with her. The Dad didn't try to abduct the kids though, smart on his part... but he still has the odds against him. The mother, in Japan, gets to keep the kid because SHE is the mother. If he takes the other kid with him to Japan, the mom could take the second kid too because if they're divorced, the kid is technically hers. Meanwhile, the dad hasn't seen his daughter in years and is upset that if she saw him now, she wouldn't really know who he is.

It's so insanely complicated that it's hard to really tell what the actual biggest problem is...

I think the few things I can conclude from all of this is that...

1) My parent's divorce was/is a messy thing but not THIS messy, daaaaaaang. I think at the hardest of times I think my parents divorce could be compared to the feeling you get 10 minutes before you can eat dinner at a long terrible passover seder. The 10 minutes stretch on and on and it feels you're never going to "get there," everyone is irritable (even grandparents), you keep thinking "I HAVE HEARD THIS STORY A MILLION TIMES, THIS PART ISN'T EVEN THAT IMPORTANT!!!!!!! LET'S GET GOING!!!" and even though you know that dinner is coming soon, after dinner you have a whole second half of the seder to come and all the wine at the table can't make that seem worth it... that's what I'd my divorce experience compare it to. I don't think that comes anywhere close to a Japanese jail! I mean seriously, talk about making unnecessary sacrifices, DAMN! (I will admit, I think either of my parents would sit in a Japanese jail for their kids but I don't think either would prefer that method, even though it would seriously give them the greatest guilt-trip ever. "I sat in a Japanese JAIL for WEEKS to see you and now you go and cancel dinner with less than 24 hours notice!?! The only words I knew were 'white,' 'New Years,' 'thank you' and 'airplane' it was impossible!" or "No no, it's FINE if you don't want to spend thanksgiving with MY side of the family, even though I am the one who sat in a foreign JAIL for you for TWO WEEKS! it's fine, go enjoy thanksgiving with your FATHER." and sometimes I think my parents sometimes like to pretend the other is forcing the other into Japanese jail when really they are like "Should I put this under my name or yours?".)

2) Don't try and kidnap your kids from Japan or any country for that matter.

3) Japan maaaaaaaybe should take a second look at it's custody customs. I don't want to criticize Japan for their different way of thinking, but I think this one might be a little bit old fashioned for this day and age. I had a long talk with one of my old host moms about divorce in Japan. What she said was (Note, I'm not speaking for all of Japan here...) if a marriage turns sour in Japan, the couple typically doesn't divorce because the kids won't ever see the father, the house will be lost, and the mother would have to get a job to support the family and it's just too much. In fact, she went on to say that she and her husband probably should be divorced but were together for convenience and the for the kids... talk an awkward moment in the conversation. Divorce sucks, but I think I can honestly say that after the initial problems from divorce, seeing both of my parents happy was pretty darn nice... sure, problems still come up, but you get twice as many birthday celebrations. (Though one could argue that every holiday season the tug o' war that occurred with who will be spending what holiday who makes the extra birthday cake less of a reward.)

I really think the whole "both parents seeing the kids (if both parents are sane mentally-healthy people)" is a pretty nice way to keep both parents happy (or equally unhappy) and allows the kids to know both parents. Which is, ya know, nice.

So I probably left out some details and I didn't want to judge either of the parents, obviously both of them made some serious mistakes, but I dunno, I just thought it was an interesting and complicated issue worth of a blog entry. Like I said, divorce stories strike a chord with me...

Also, real quick, show of hands... who actually reads these? Not that I'm not thankful for my the comments my parents leave but it's pretty much ONLY them that comment... it's exciting to know when people read these so don't hesitate to comment!

Friday, October 23, 2009

Holy Moly...

A few years ago while I was here, McDonald's in Japan introduced the "MegaMac" which was a Big Mac with twice as much meat. Here is a reminder...





Well that looks like a dinky slider compared to what Burger King is now offering... In an attempt to celebrate the release of Windows 7 Japanese Burger King made the "Windows 7 Whopper" with 7 beef patties...
and in case you think it's fake, here's a video of a Japanese comedian attempting to take a bite...



If this isn't a wake up call for America I don't know what is! We're STILL the fattest nation in the world by a long shot and guess what? We only have Triple Whoppers. Japan now has Septuple Whoppers (for a limited time) Want to see what America did to celebrate windows 7? If you have a moment watch this video, it's probably the lamest attempt to make people excited for anything ever...



I thought it was fake, but after research, I've found it to be legit...
It's awkward and jerky and uncomfortable. Nothing any of these people say is funny, yet they continue to laugh. I don't want to see these people hanging out with each other and I DEFINITELY don't want them to try and teach me how to have a party. It's worse than any PSA I saw when I was child.

So, Which do you think is going to give Windows 7 better press... a 7 Layers-of-meat-burger? or instructions on how to have a party that will make your friends never call you again?

Holy Moly.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

20 Hours Of Fun: Return of the Tokyo

So a few weeks back word on the street was one of my uncles was coming to Tokyo to give some special talks. He asked if we could meet up. As it turned out there were some scheduling issues and we could arrange just 24 hours together. (I worked on Friday and he though he had hoped to stay til Sunday, he had to leave Saturday afternoon.) I thought of a handful of fun things we could do... Maybe we could visit Asakusa, Shibuya, or Shinjuku. Those are the Tokyo hot spots to hit, especially if it's your first time in Tokyo.

Well a few days before I went down to Tokyo he mentioned he was taking a bus tour of Tokyo, which pretty much eliminated all of my options and then some. So I thought hard of other places... the only one I could think of was Tsukiji fish market. I'd never actually been, but I'd heard good things. The one problem with this was that you have to go between 5am and 6am to see the real entertaining stuff. While times like this are easy for a jet lagged recent arrival to Japan, it's by no means deal for me on one of the few days can sleep in a bit so I continued to think.

I took the train to Tokyo after school on Friday and headed to where my uncle would be giving a lecture to some Japanese scientists (pathologists and toxicologists, I believe) and I would join them for the last few lectures (which would be in Japanese) and the reception at the end. Well... let me tell you, if there's one thing I've learned about Japan it's that they loooooooooove their receptions.

I made it at the exact moment my uncle's speech ended and he was walking to his "green room" of sorts to rest up a bit. We chatted for a while and I was introduced to all the people who had been helping him out. We watched a speech and then joined the hundred other doctors in the reception room for lots of drinking and lots of food. (My uncle and I didn't drink a lot, most of the older scientists did though) There were lots of jokes about things I didn't understand. My uncle and I got separated and I met his Japanese friends and we all chatted for a while. I then walked over to the food buffet and got ready to chow down when one of my uncle's friends approached me with a young Japanese pathologist.

"Michael, this woman would like to speak with you!" he said.

"Hello!" I said, "I'm Mike!"

The man spoke for the woman, "Is it true you speak Japanese?"

"Yes, I do."

She chimed in with a "Yoroshikuonegaishimasu." which is basically a "Nice to meet you." kind of thing... it's one of the things you say when you meet someone for the first time.

"Yoroshikuonegaishimasu" I responded, and of course as always it was followed by the Japanese folks laughing when they hear you speak Japanese. Japanese people tend to laugh at anyone who says any single word in Japanese. Not necessarily in a mean way, really. It's similar to the reaction one might have when parrot mimics human speech. "HAHA! DID YOU HEAR THAT!?!? CRAZY! Make it say something else!" It wears off quickly if you have a decent handle on Japanese so after a few sentences they tend to calm down. Every now and then if you say something REALLY grammatically correct they'll go "Woah, you're SO good." Which is nice to hear, except it's awkward because you're not really supposed to accept compliments in Japanese, if they say "you're good at Japanese." you must say "No, I'm not." if they say "You're so smart." you must say "No, I'm not." Even if they say "Your Mom looks pretty." Apparently, I still don't believe this one, you're supposed to say "No, she doesn't." You or no one in your family should ever receive a complement with a "Thank you!" or "Arigatou!" Though, sometimes it slips with me and no one seems to get offended.

ANYWAY, I'm off topic.

So after we exchange out little "hello" the man asks, "So, you are single, right?"

Awkward.

"No, I have a girlfriend." I said.

At the same time both the man and this pathologist go "AWWWW~! ZANNEN!" which is Japanese for "AWWWW~! TOO BAD!"

Then it got even weirder because the guy goes, "Well, nevermind." And the girl just turns around and walks away. Then it got EVEN weirder when he puts his arm around my shoulder and said "This is when you are supposed to pretend like you don't have a girlfriend!" followed by a firm pat on my butt. "Heh. Heh... Heh... uh... ok... well... this... shrimp tastes... good."

Later in the reception a woman called me "Gorgeous." Gorgeous isn't a word I'd ever used to describe myself and I know it's not a word anyone other than this lady would use to describe me. Maybe she meant something else like "porpoise" or that I looked like a woman named "Dolores." (I don't know any other words that rhyme well with gorgeous.) But then I again, I DID just get a haircut, so I AM lookin pretty good these days.

It was here that people started asking what our plan was tomorrow. Some of his Japanese friends would join us around 8:30 to go around Tokyo together, but we had to think of something that he'd like to do. Someone mentioned "What about tsukij!" and my uncle said, "I heard that's great! But you have to go early, right?" "Right." the person said. "Well," my uncle continued, "I'm fine with it! let's go." I decided, what the heck, if I'm gonna get up at 4:00 am to go to a fish market, why not. It was early, the party was wrapping up and I could get to bed soon because I was tired for traveling so much that day.

Post reception my Uncle mentioned he hadn't seen much of Tokyo at night and he wanted to see some cool spots. Shibuya is my favorite night view in Tokyo. Shinjuku and Ginza are cool, but Shibuya has one of the busiest intersections in the world. (It's in Lost In Translation if you've ever seen that. There's a building that has a giant TV on it and dinosaur walking across it... it's that area.) I thought it was closer to where we were, but I was wrong.

We stopped at the hotel and dropped out bags off and walked back to Tokyo station and took the train there. We arrived in Shibuya around 10. We walked around look at stores and then decided to take a rest in Starbucks which over looks the really busy intersection. We each had a scone and at about 11:30 we decided to head back and get some rest, since we'd be getting up at 4:00am.

We got back to the hotel at midnight and I set my alarm for 4. I closed my eyes and what felt like 30 seconds later my alarm went off. "Well," Uncle David said. "Let's go."

We went to Tsukiji Fish Market. For those of you who don't know, Tsukiji Fish Market is a morning Market where a lot of the fish for Japan comes from. It's whole sale. There were enormous octopus legs, fish you'd never even seen or heard of before, live fish, half alive fish, and of course dead fish. There were red fish, white fish, blue fish, bloody fish, green fish, eels, and various other monsters of the sea. The most famous part of this attraction is the "Tuna Auction" Tunas that are about 3 to 6 feet long are auctioned off and sold for thousands of dollars. Viewers are only allowed to enter one of the many auctions and they start at 5:15am and end at 6:15am.

It was absolutely worth getting up at 4:00 in the morning for, even though we were almost killed for every step we took. There are these motor-cart things that guys drive around to bring fish to the various market stalls. (We even witnessed a head on collision of two of the carts... the two men exchanged a look and no one seemed alarmed except my uncle and I.) We also didn't see the maps that are given to visitors at the entrance and got completely lost. We wandered into a section that visitors aren't allowed to go to. There were huge tanks of live fish. They were flapping around splashing water and leaping out. Eventually someone told us where to go, though, the people who work there are some of the most intimidating people I've come across in Japan. They have stone cold looks on their faces and are ready to plow you over with their carts at any given moment.

We got back to the hotel at 6:30. I slept until 7:30 then we got ready for our day ahead of us. A museum, a park, curry for lunch, and then we'd go our separate ways.

The Edo Tokyo History Museum was pretty nice except my uncle made the mistake of requesting one of the volunteer guides. The museum was a giant room where half is built to look like Edo-period Tokyo (a.k.a. Edo) and the other half is post Meiji resoration Tokyo (a.k.a. when Edo's name was changed to Tokyo.) Within this replica city there were true artifacts from these times, it looked exciting. Before we even took one step into the exhibit the guide spoke to us for about 15 minutes, (which with the lack of sleep gave it more a half-time feel so it felt closer to 30 minutes... maybe even 40.) Then we started looking at stuff. After about an hour we had made it through about 6% of the museum. Time was crucial today since we wanted to get lunch and go to a park before my uncle left for home so but no one had the heart to tell this old volunteer historian that we didn't need to know eeeeevery detal of Japan's history. (Though, I did learn that average height of females then was 140 centimeters (4'6'') and men was 150 centimeters (4'9'') Which is crazy!)

Eventually we told him and he gave us a speed tour so we could get to another part of the museum before we left.

We did a speed walk of the "Shin-hanga" exhibit. Which was the "Modern woodblock prints" of Japan. They came from the late 1800s through 1960s and they blew my mind. It was probably one of the most beautiful exhibits I'd ever seen and I unfortunately only had about 10 minutes to see it. I bought the book of the exhibit at the end though.

We skipped Ueno Park and rushed back to Tokyo station, got curry for lunch. Went back to the hotel, got out bags and made it to the station for goodbyes and then I got on the train back to Urasa and fell asleep.

WHEW! 24 hours in Tokyo, 4 of them were sleeping. I can honestly say I never thought I'd make friends with Japanese scientists, get awkwardly picked up by Japanese pathologists, or watch 6 foot sea monsters get sold for thousands of dollars while almost being killed by little fast motor-carts... adventures with family does it really get any better than that?

Stay tuned for some photos!

*I apologize if there are more spelling and grammar mistakes than usual. I still haven't slept much today.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Hair... cut.

I am proud to say that I got a haircut in Japan and it isn't nearly as freaky as my last haircut here.

I've been relatively spoiled when it comes to haircuts, the same person has been cutting my hair since I've been about 6 years old. (With the exception of one time when I let 3 cute girls cut my hair in high school. The result left me with a decent look from the front and a balding look in the back... Also, George, the man who cuts my hair knew immediately at my next appointment that someone, not him, had cut my hair and that whoever had done it and no idea what they were doing. But they were attractive girls who were my friends and in high school, it's hard to say "No." to that.) So I'm used to just this one place, it isn't at an old musty barber shop, it's a nice salon where I am underdressed everytime and I'm probably not fashion conscious enough to be going there, but I like my haircuts from there...a lot (I like the classic looks, thats how I think of it... "classic"...maybe with a tiny bit of flare. Something that fits well with a classy suit rather than in a club with a with a tight t-shirt covered in glitter-paint dragons and jeans with embroidered lotus flowers up and down the legs). So when it comes to my hair I'm quite picky and don't deal with change particularly well.

I tried the fancy salon style here in Japan when I studied in Nagoya. While I'm not even hip enough for a fashioned western-style haircut, I am light-years behind an asian fashionista haircut. The result was a spiked forward haircut with pseudo-sideburns.

Let me break this haircut down a little more. My hair was spiked FORWARD. Not up, not back... forward. As if I was falling backwards into some wind... or if you bent over to pick up your keys and then sprayed some hairspray on yourself.

The 'Pseudo-sideburn' is the result of many asian men not having as thick of sideburns as a man of European blood like myself (Not that I have massive John-Belushi-Blues-Brothers-mutton-chops, but I HAVE sideburns). It works fine for men with less facial hair. On a chap like me, however, it don't work. What they do is, they grow the hair on the side of their heads longer enough to spike straight down. Kind of like a comb-over but for sideburns. It's trimmed to be slightly remeniscent of a sideburn but it usually a bit more of a spike than a 'sideburn' look. It covers the sideburn area of the face without actually growing in that area... can you picture it now?

So while this look certainly works for...er...some. It definitely didn't work with my "classy-suit" look. It left me with a pair of scissors clipping my hair in my host families bathroom and a scarred and jaded image of what haircuts are like for foreigners in this country.


So that brings us up to date. Before I came here I got my haircut and I photographed it from every side imagineable. I waited out as long as I could before I got my Japanese haircut... but I didn't want to wait TOO long. I didn't want my students thinking I was a caveman and I didn't want it to be so long that the person cutting my hair couldn't tell what my haircut once was. I figured if I let it grow out the haircutter could just keep it a similar shape but just make every part shorter until it resembled the photo I had... a fool proof plan.

So I made it about 2.5 months without a haircut.

I got a reservation at a place about a block from my house called "Y's Hair" Who is Y? I don't know, but it looked like a clean barbershop and I'd seen older men in there getting their haircut which meant that they weren't getting the "standing with your back to a wind tunnel" look. Also, I'm in Urasa, a town with no clubs or anything remotely showing a sign of fashion consciousness. It's a farming town which gave me some hope... but I didn't want it backfiring and giving me a full on buzz and fade to make me look like I just entered the army.

I showed up for my appointment and a man, "Y" I am assuming, cut my hair. I showed him my printed photos of my head. I said "I doesn't have to look exactly like this... but about this length and this general shape." I didn't want to demand a haircut that this man couldn't deliver... it could make him nervous and end up looking bad and then would result in a necessary head shaving. Or worse, I could offend him by coming off as saying "CUT MY HAIR LIKE THIS OR I WON'T PAY YOU, YOU FOOL!!" (Sometimes I fear that it's easy to come off as that rude in Japan if you don't use the right conjugations and grammar in the right situations... though they USUALLY give foreigners slack, though I am convinced that I am the exception and when I leave situations people all talk behind my back saying "How RUDE!")

He took the photos with a smile and didn't seem offended. He got to work. I had a brief moment of panic when I found that the only tool this man was using was thinning shears. (yes, I know what thinning shears are.) In America when I got my haircut there were many tools used, different kinds of shears, ravors, things that buzzed and things that blew, thinning scissors were only used on certain occasions and sometimes not at all, and never were they the only tool used. "You can't paint a room with JUST a roller or JUST a small brush, you need many things to make the paint job even and not splotchy..." I thought to myself, "my canvas! It could be RUINED!"

I am not even sure what the complete purpose of thinning shears are but they have the word "thinning" in them. The last thing my already thin hair needs is to be thinner. I needed thickening-darkening shears. Shears that not only make my hair look thicker on my head but will also grow thick hair on my chest and arms and give me muscles and make me taller. Shears that will also, from a clean shave, give me a well groomed five o' clock shadow, but not TOO well groomed, I don't want to look like George Michaels circa "Faith". Not THINNING shears. *After some research post-haircut I found they can add "texture" to make the hair look "more natural." though I am skeptical*

Anyway, my haircut turned out OK in the end. It's not THAT great looking and as a result of the thinning scissors, I think, my hair has less volume and looks kind of static-y in some spots (like if you hold a baloon over someones head and random pieces stand up, not clumps of hair, just random single pieces) but not staticy enough that you'd be like "Whats going on up there..." while pointing to my head and making a face of disgust. I bought some stuff to put in my hair and it looks a bit smoother.

So after my haircut the guy filled out this paperwork that had various drawings of a mans head. He marked down all the spots where he cut and how he cut it wrote my name on it and stuck it in a file. He gave me back my photograph of my head. I payed 28 bucks and left. This is a B- haircut. A clean 80%. Which is pretty good. In the 90's is damn good. I'm used to upper 90% and even 100% haircuts so this was a drop for me, but it isn't a failure in any way. The real question is, in two more months, do I go back to "Y's"? Or take a risk and go to "Taka" down the street or one of the other places here in Urasa.
?

-Mike

Thursday, October 8, 2009

A New Video...

CLICK HERE TO SEE New Video FROM MY TRIP!

It features a new little original diddy by yours truly.
Also I recommend watching it in HD if your computer can handle it

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

The Typhoon

So many of you probably don't know that there is a big typhoon covering, basically, all of Japan. Because of it, for the first time in about ten years my school closed... for the students. Teachers, of course, had to go to school... even though it's too dangerous for students to go. Anyway, all complaints aside, I went.

So I arrived at school and almost immediately found myself bored. I think the other teachers could tell too. I'm not sure if it was my constant yawning, the pages and pages of random kanji that I was practicing that gave it away. Anyway one of the other English Teachers, who is in charge of English Club came up to me and said "Let's go make some pies." So... I did.

In English Club over the past few days we've been preparing pumpkin pies from scratch. I missed the first day where some of the directions got messed up but that's ok...

This was my first time making a pumpkin pie from completely scratch. Usually I used canned pumpkin and then mixed all the spices and stuff in. This time, they started with big raw kabocha pumpkins. Anyway... we already had a whole lot of pureed pumpkin that already had condensed milk, sugar, and eggs in it. (That was their first mistake, that stuff was supposed to go in a lot later...)

So one teacher and I went to the cooking room and made pie crust and then made 3 small pies. After that, we served them to the teachers who all seemed to like it. Since they had put the ingredients into the pumpkin earlier, all the measurements were messed up. They had about 10 cups of pumpkin with ingredients for 3 cups of pumpkin. So it wasn't sweet or light enough. Either way it tasted good...

After the teacher and I had a slice we brought all the pies to the rest of the teachers in the office and had a bit of a pumpkin pie party on our rainy boring day at school.

Then I took nenkyu (paid vacaion) for the afternoon because after the pumpkin pie party died down I was starting to go crazy again. Now I'm at home eating instant ramen and watching Pee Wee's Playhouse on my computer. I am taking full advantage of my paid vacation hours.

-Mike

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Fun!

Fun. A word if read in English can bring memories of happiness and laughter. In Japan "Fun" brings other images. Images of stink, frustration and maybe even disgust. Fun (pronounced Foo-n) refers to feces. Yup...

I have had a lot of *FUN* experiences in my life. Japan has added two more to the list...

Previous to coming here three birds have had the pleasure of making me a target. Two had perfect bulls-eyes on on the top of my head. The other made aim for my leg as I was sitting on a bike.

Now a fourth addition to the bird category, as I was walking home from a convenience store here (or I should say THE convenience store, as there is only one here) a bird suffessfully dressed my hand in its *FUN* leaving me to briefly wonder "it is starting to rain" followed by "I hope it rains so I can get this *FUN* off of my hand."

NEXT I had the pleasure of a new adding a new species to the list, a frog. I approached a vending machine on the street one night and it was covered in all sorts of creatures. Urasa is very dark at night so the brightly lit vending machines are kind of the night-clubs of bug life in Urasa. There are giant mosquitos banging their head into the machines like drunken frat boy college students, graceful moths fluttering their wings and dancing together like a group of girls out for the night and then there are big lazy frogs that just sit in one place, too drunk to move but looking for the right moment to shoot their tongue out to get a piece of the mosquitos. So, I went to the machine and I pressed my button, Pocari Sweat...the gatorade of Japan, next to the button a little frog did a scurry-jump away from my hand. I bent over to retrieve my drink from where it sat, in the trough-with-a-flap section of the machine. At this exact moment, Hilary reached for the frog while exlaiming "Awwwww! Cuuuuuuuute!" With her hand approaching, the frog did what it was born to do... hop. It leapt from the machine into the darkness of the night and landed directly on the top of my head. Whether it was landing on my hair or Hilary's approaching hand that scared it, we may never know, but it let out a trail of frog *FUN* on my head. I like to think that it was so drunk that it just didn't really know what was going on. This will become a story it can tell it's other froggy friends. "OH MAN! The other night this enormous hand came out of nowhere so I jumped and landed on this dudes head! HAH! So scary, I funned all over him." Either way, I washed my hair twice that night and my list of *FUN* experiences got longer.

-Mike